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The Miss USA pageant, a tournament whose noble purpose since 2003 been to give attractive American women an opportunity to meet and be deflowered by iconic hero of American spirit Donald Trump was held last night, and Rima Fakih of Michigan was selected as being most able to serve as Trump’s supple courtesan. The choice of Rima, a Lebanese-born immigrant, has stirred controversy, however, as many Americans wonder whether her Islamic heritage might somehow spread to Donald through their couplings. Causing even more concern, however, is the question of whether the selection of a Muslim girl might signal something even more insidious – that our beauty pageants might have been infiltrated by the most troubling plague of all – affirmative action.

Could it be true that our beauty pageants are not the purely rational, scientific, objective analysis of young women’s breasts, legs, butts, bellies, skin, facial symmetry, healthfulness as indicated by muscle tone and definition, hair (body and head), and ability to politically but vaguely answer questions relating to hot-button issues that something as important as the Trump bridal selection process must be? Are we allowing the hot wind of political correctness to bend our erections towards women perhaps less fit to bear his mighty Trumpseed? Let’s assume that Daniel Pipes is right, which is an assumption I’m happy to make as it allows me to continue writing this article without having to resort to basic fact-checking or boring statistical analysis, and pretend like there has been a recent uptick in the number of Muslim women winning beauty pageants.

Why would this be? Is it because, as one of Pipes’ readers suggests, the pageants feel the need to generate controversy by selecting Muslim women, because they know full well that their viewership is generally backwards country rubes who fly into a half-cocked, ignorant rage at the notion of Islam as anything but the enemy in a holy war dating back for all of eternity and destined to continue until the rapture takes them all to a heaven where only white Christian girls can win beauty pageants, the way it used to be? Maybe! Here’s another guess: What if the fact that they’re Muslim somehow makes them seem dangerous hot, a type of hot which is hotter than sorority white girl hot, or even debutante black girl hot, who have so far been the mainstays in pageantry. The type of hot that makes it OK for reputable members of society such as myself to talk about their sexual fantasies involving Jihad Jane at places like the local public pool, or a crowded subway platform. Or, even more Maybelline, perhaps the judges, riding high on their prescription pill-fueled power rush, have convinced themselves that, through their selections, they have the opportunity to make the world a more understanding and better place.

If that’s the case, they need to get off their high horse and realize that they are beholden to an even greater legacy – Donald Trump’s sperm – and leave the playing God to people like Barack Obama (another underqualified Muslim) and Donald Trump.

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“I wish they all could be California girls,” said the philosopher and poet D. L. Roth, but that’s a little short-sighted. There are millions of gorgeous women outside the borders of the United States, and in this feature we’ll spotlight twenty hotties so foreign that they don’t even speak English. Please note: I have done as much research as possible to ensure that these lovely ladies don’t speak our mother tongue, but I can’t promise anything. Most of their phone numbers are unlisted, so I couldn’t check personally.

Model Elin Grindemyr has been voted the hottest woman in Sweden after multiple appearances in a men’smagazine with the very unfortunate name of Slitz. You know how hot Swedish women are, so check that out: what happens when the gorgeous get gorgeouser.

Christel Sundberg is a Finnish singer who is just as cute as a button. Let’s just say I don’t ever want to be Finnished with her. Actually, let’s not say that, that’s retarded.

Chelina Manuhutu is a stunning Dutch model who perfectly exemplifies the racial melting-pot of modern-day Europe. That sounded pretty highbrow, right? So we’re not just looking at a hot chick in a bikini?

Aleida Nunez is a Mexican telenovela star, and good Lord is she smoking. I’d stay in for the soaps if they starred babes this hot here.

Japanese “actress” Sola Aoi (yes, actress is in quotes for a reason) has a gorgeous face, amazing body and great personality. Sure, she could stand to get some sun, but whatevs.

I’m bending the rules just this once – French actress and director Melanie Laurent is learning English right now, but when she stepped on the set of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds she couldn’t speak a single word of it. Can you imagine having to work with a motormouth like QT and not understanding a single thing he said?

Malian model Tiguida Sissoko is an up-and-comer in the French fashion scene, and with looks that flawless, I can understand why.

Amit Freidman is a gorgeous Israeli model. I’m a sucker for freckles. And unbelievably hot chicks. But mostly freckles.

Gamze Karaman is no jive turkey – she’s a model from Turkey. And that ain’t no jive. Oof. I’m sorry, I can’t read Turkish.

Russian actress/singer/model Zhanna Friske came to our attention in the Eastern Bloc vampire action movie Night Watch, but she’s a lot cuter in the daylight.

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TV actress Miren Ibarguen hails from the Basque region of Spain. Why not take a second to basque in her hotness?

Don’t miss our 20 Hottest Archive for more hotness or visit our 20 Worst Archive.

Jitka Kocurova is another gorgeous Czechoslovakian actress / model. Never in my entire life have I wanted to be a bathtub so badly.

Alena Seredova is a Czechoslovakian model currently living in Italy. Will I make a joke about “Czeching out those curves?” I – I won’t!

Hungarian actress Banhidi Vivien is a classical, flawless beauty. All other information is classified.

Andressa Soares, also known as the Watermelon Woman, has the most famous butt in Brazil. She even has her own TV show where she teaches the viewers how to wiggle their backends. Giving back to the community – how noble.

Bulgarian beauty Melinda Poznik is so hot that it’s making my computer fan whir like crazy just uploading this picture.

Two Belgians in a row? Lubna Azabal is a totally different kind of beauty, but no less stunning for it.

Joke Van de Velde was Miss Belgium in 2000 and is only getting hotter with time. And that’s no joke. Neither is that.

Another gorgeous Mexican telenovela actress, the lovely Barbara Mori’s fame has stretched around the world, landing her roles as far away as Bollywood.

Impossibly foxy Italian actress Giovanna Mezzogiorno pushes all the right buttons for me – classy and nice to look at, all at once.

Wooden Chip Artist

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The bird seems frozen. The wings are spread wide. Looking so alive, it seems almost unbelievable that it is made of cembra pine wood chips. Artist Sergey Bobkov spent half a year to produce this wonderful eagle, working with practically no days off, 10 to 12 (and sometimes even 14) hours a day. No wonder! It took about 7 thousand feathers to make the plumage! But it is definitely worth it – the result does not differ much from its living prototype. Artist’s collection consists of all kinds of birds and animals: life-size sables, squirrels, owls and so on.

Before making a new “pet” Sergey Bobkov carefully studies its anatomy, habits and anything else that can help him better understand the chosen creature. And the technology itself is his invention.

“It’s not too interesting to do what others can,” the artist says. “To create something out of nothing in a completely new way is far more inspiring”.

“It’s not too interesting to do what others can,” the artist says. “To create something out of nothing in a completely new way is far more inspiring”.

This talented secondary school teacher skillfully turns useless wood chips into genuine works of art. Birds with wooden feathers, squirrels and sables with coats made of environmentally safe material – all of them are copyrighted.

Some time ago this remarkable citizen of Krasnoyarsk acquired a patent right for the new method of manufacture of art objects. Such case is a true rarity in the field of arts and crafts, since it is really hard to invent something new here.

“Some people often balance us against taxidermists with their stuffed animals and the like. But these things differ like the darkness and the light. It is death there; here it is life.”

Sergey Bobkov gradually developed his own technique to prevent wood chips from crumbling; in order to do this, he puts them in water for several days. Most of the time the artist prefers to work with cembra pine; however, some elements are better made of willow or beech, for example.

From a 2-3-inch long bar the artist makes 100 to 150 wood chips. Then the chips are carefully rolled to form a feather. Sergey says that wood chips are rather flexible material. Finished works of art do not need any special care; however, they do need to be protected from dust and direct sunlight. After one open air exhibition the artist had to shower his beloved pets; no harm was done to either one of them.

one of Sergey’s artworks are for sale; however, he was offered some five hundred thousand rubles (more than $17,000) for his Eagle.

Nigerian Dwarf Goat

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The Nigerian Dwarf goat is a miniature dairy goat breed of West African ancestry. Originally brought to the United States on ships as food for large cats such as lions, the survivors originally lived in zoos. Nigerian Dwarf goats are popular as hobby goats due to their easy maintenance and small stature.

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Red Tides

Red tides are also known as algal blooms - sudden influxes of massive amounts of colored single-cell algae that can convert entire areas of an ocean or beach into a blood red color.

While some of these can be relatively harmless, others can be harbingers of deadly toxins that cause the deaths of fish, birds and marine mammals.

In some cases, even humans have been harmed by red tides though no human exposure are known to have been fatal.

While they can be fatal, the constituent phytoplankton in ride tides are not harmful in small numbers.
Blue Holes

Blue holes are giant and sudden drops in underwater elevation that get their name from the dark and foreboding blue tone they exhibit when viewed from above in relationship to surrounding waters.

They can be hundreds of feet deep and while divers are able to explore some of them they are largely devoid of oxygen that would support sea life due to poor water circulation - leaving them eerily empty.

Some blue holes, however, contain ancient fossil remains that have been discovered, preserved in their depths.

Columnar Basalt

When a thick lava flow cools, it contracts vertically but cracks perpendicular to its directional flow with remarkable geometric regularity - in most cases forming a regular grid of remarkable hexagonal extrusions that almost appear to be made by man.

One of the most famous such examples is the Giant's Causeway on the coast of Ireland (shown above), though the largest and most widely recognized would be Devil's Tower in Wyoming.

Basalt also forms different but equally fascinating ways when eruptions are exposed to air or water.
Fire Whirls

Fire whirls (also known as fire devils or tornadoes) appear in or around raging fires when the right combination of climactic conditions is present.

Fire whirls can be spawned by other natural events such as earthquakes and thunderstorms, and can be incredibly dangerous, in some cases spinning well out of the zone of a fire itself to cause devastation and death in a radius not even reached by heat or flame.

Fire whirls have been known to be nearly a mile high, have wind speeds of over 100 miles per hour and to last for 20 or more minutes.
Ice Circles

While many see these apparently perfect ice circles as worthy of conspiracy theorizing, scientists generally accept that they are formed by eddies in the water that spin a sizable piece of ice in a circular motion.

As a result of this rotation, other pieces of ice and flotsam wear relatively evenly at the edges of the ice until it slowly forms into an essentially ideal circle.

Ice circles have been seen with diameters of over 500 feet and can also at times be found in clusters and groups of different sizes as shown above.

Mammatus Clouds

True to their ominous appearance, mammatus clouds are often harbingers of a coming storm or other extreme weather system.

Typically composed primarily of ice, they can extend for hundreds of miles in each direction and individual formations can remain visibly static for ten to fifteen minutes at a time.

While they may appear foreboding they are merely the messengers - appearing around, before or even after severe weather.

Fire Rainbows

A circumhorizontal fire rainbow arc occurs at a rare confluence of right time and right place for the sun and certain clouds.

Crystals within the clouds refract light into the various visible waves of the spectrum but only if they are arrayed correctly relative to the ground below.

Due to the rarity with which all of these events happen in conjunction with one another, there are relatively few remarkable photos of this phenomena.

Sinkholes are one of the world's scariest natural phenomena.

Over time, water erodes the soil under the planet's surface until in some cases, quite suddenly, the land above gives way and collapses into the earth.

Many sinkholes occur naturally while others are the result of human intervention.

Displacing groundwater can open cavities while broken pipes can erode otherwise stable subterranean sediments.

Urban sinkholes, up to hundreds of feet deep have formed and consumed parts of city blocks, sidewalks and even entire buildings.


Named after peak-hooded New Mexican monks (lower right above), penitentes are dazzling naturally-forming ice blades that stick up at sharp angles toward the sun.

Rarely found except at high altitudes, they can grow up taller than a human and form in vast fields.

As ice melts in particular patterns, 'valleys' formed by initial melts leave 'mountains' in their wake.

Strangely, these formations ultimately slow the melting process as the peaks cast shadows on the deeper surfaces below and allow for winds to blow over the peaks, cooling them.

Lenticular Clouds

Ever wonder the truth about UFOs?

Avoided by traditional pilots but loved by sailplane aviators, lenticular clouds are masses of cloud with strong internal uplift that can drive a motorless flyer to high elevations.

Their shape is quite often mistaken for a mysterious flying object or the artificial cover for one.

Generally, lenticular clouds are formed as wind speeds up while moving around a large land object such as a mountain.

Light Pillars

Light pillars appear as eerily upright luminous columns in the sky, beacons cast into the air above without an apparent source..

These are visible when light reflects just right off of ice crystals from either the sun (as in the two top images above) or from artificial ground sources such as street or park lights.

Despite their appearance as near-solid columns of light, the effect is entirely created by our own relative viewpoint.


Like light pillars, sundogs are the product of light passing through crystals.

The particular shape and orientation of the crystals can have a drastic visual impact for the viewer, producing a longer tail and changing the range of colors one sees.

The relative height of the sun in the sky shifts the distance the sundogs appear to be on either side of the sun.

Varying climactic conditions on other planets in our solar system produce halos with up to four sundogs from those planets' perspectives.

Sundogs have been speculated about and discussed since ancient times and written records describing the various attributes of our sun date back the Egyptians and Greeks.

Sailing Stones

The mysterious moving stones of the packed-mud desert of Death Valley have been a center of scientific controversy for decades.

Rocks weighing up to hundreds of pounds have been known to move up to hundreds of yards at a time.

Some scientists have proposed that a combination of strong winds and surface ice account for these movements.

However, this theory does not explain evidence of different rocks starting side by side and moving at different rates and in disparate directions.

Moreover, the physics calculations do not fully support this theory as wind speeds of hundreds of miles per hour would be needed to move some of the stones.

Orange Moons

This last phenomena is something most people have seen before - beautiful orange moon hanging low in the sky.

But what causes this phenomena - and, for that matter, does the moon have a color at all?

When the moon appears lower on the horizon, rays of light bouncing off it have to pass through a great deal more of our atmosphere which slowly strips away everything but yellows, oranges and reds.

The bottommost image above is true to the hues of the moon but has enhanced colors to more clearly show the differences in shade that illustrate the mixed topography and minerology that tell the story of the moon's surface.

Looking at the colors in combination with the craters one can start to trace the history of impacts and consequent material movements across the face of our mysterious moon.

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